An Oscar means Cred in certain circles. Now that producers can feature the "Academy Award Winner" tag above her name in movie trailers, she'll be expected to do more Serious films. And she should! But she should also do romantic comedies, at which she is very adept, and maybe try something really new.

1) Escape to New York
Where's a good place to hide out for a while until the gossip heat dies down? Well, sure, some fancy exclusive secret resort that Bullock could undoubtedly afford to stay at for a few months, but she could also hide in a theater! We've mentioned this before, but especially now that Bullock's got the gold man on her mantle, the time seems right to do a play. Lots of actors are doing it these days, to admittedly varied success, and it can go a long way to affirming an actor's raw talents. We've always thought that Bullock would make an excellent Lil' Bit in How I Learned to Drive, but the clock might be kinda running out on that one, age wise. (Though, Bullock can easily play 35. So maybe not.) If not HILTD, maybe she could make a nice, younger-than-usual Flo in Picnic. Arthur Miller is hot again after the successful View from the Bridge revival, so maybe they could age Sandy up a little bit and she could do Linda Loman. Or a new play! She could be hysterical in a snappy Douglas Carter Beane satire. We're sure Julie White wouldn't mind sitting one out.

2) Befriend an Auteur
Julia Roberts has her Steven Soderbergh, Frances McDormand (who, yeah, is a totally different class of actress, although...) is married to a Coen Brother, and Scarlett Johansson has shacked up with Woody Allen. Bullock needs one of those people in her corner so she can duck out of the mainstream frame and do a respectable indie once in a while. Why not have the marvelous Rodrigo Garcia (Nine Lives, see it) write and direct some things for her? Or she could add her name to Mike White's next masterwork of non-cloyingly quirky whimsy and get it some real money and attention. Bullock is great at that Anistonian blend of slack-haired funny/sad, and should let a true filmmaker do something great with it. Or, fuck it, she can do rapid dialogue like nobody's business, so Quentin? Want to revive a career that's already been revived?

3) Back to Hugh
Remember Two Weeks Notice? It was easily, no fooling, one of the best big-ticket romantic comedies of the '00s (though that's really not saying much), mostly because Bullock and costar Hugh Grant had such bouncy chemistry. He's fumbling and British, she's sharper and American, but they're both sort of comic flounderers. They seem to get each other far more than Ryan Reynolds got Bullock in the dreadful The Proposal or Sarah Jessica Parker got Grant in that Morgans wreck. All they need to do is find the right script and the right shiny movie director (may we suggest David Frankel?) and big box office, career-prolonging magic could be made.

We think if she takes this advice, pretty soon people will be saying "Jesse who?" And then we'll say "Jesse James." And they'll say "Oh, right. What a jerk." But at least Bullock will be too busy working to notice!

[Image via Getty]

1. Think wistfully about the place you worked seven years ago for three seconds. End wistfulness. Laugh maniacally.

2. Plant punchy young upstart into place you worked for seven years ago. Frankly, place needs punchy young upstarts.

3. Use well-scaled seven year-old platform to promote current ventures via punchy young upstart for shameless, free publicity in exchange for vintage Gawker byline. (Irritate Denton in the process.)

4. Go visit current venture, CRUSHABLE.COM.

[Elizabeth Spiers was the founding editor of this site and was also the founding editor of the recently acquired Spiersblr. She's now working with the fine folks at Crushable, which is a really great site, which you should probably click on.]

Valentine's Day is nearly upon us! You've probably been wondering about — perhaps even waiting for — the annual Monitor Mix Valentine's Day post. Fear not: That day has arrived. Two years ago, I doled out advice on the art of the February 14 mix tape. And last year, I helped readers choose their own Valentine's Day musical identity. For 2010, Monitor Mix will help you plan a romantic evening; whether you're married, partnered, suffocating-and-lovin'-it, together-but-lonely or single, I have the perfect night for you.

You: Are in a Threesome

Monogamy is so old-fashioned, it went out of style on Nov. 7, 2009, at 6:34 p.m. That's when your boyfriend told you that the best way he could express his love for you would be by expressing his love for someone else at the same time. Armed with a copy of The Ethical Slut, he told you how jealousy was a rain cloud on his rainbow of love. Not wanting to smudge his rainbow, you agreed to upgrade your relationship to a larger box of crayons. Two days later — it seemed so sudden, but he said he'd just met her at the gym that morning — Jenna arrived.

For Valentine's Day, you'll be dining in, because no restaurant short of Larry Flynt's Hustler Club wants to accommodate a six-legged couple. Split up the food prep three ways (wait, this isn't so bad!), buy two bouquets of flowers (you'll be receiving two, as well!) and dim the lights. Then get ready for romance, tripod-style!

Song picks: De La Soul, "Magic Number." Britney Spears, "3." Stereo Total, "L'Amour a Trois." The Commodores, "Three Times a Lady."

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You: Blamed Your iPhone for the Fact That You Forgot Valentine's Day Last Year.

That your partner believed you is a testament to just how crummy the iPhone is. The conversation went like this:

You: Honey, I'm so sorry, my iPhone said it was February 41st.

Her/Him: Only the iPhone could do something like that.

You: I know, isn't that crazy? Apple makes uselessness so beautiful.

Your romantic evening will start off with a ritualized slaughter of your iPhone while your partner looks on. Download the iPhone Ritualized Slaughter app and follow the instructions. Then, on a $40 cellphone, make the first uninterrupted, clear-sounding phone call you've made in years! Call your favorite restaurant, confirm your reservation, and then — without using GPS to navigate the three blocks you have to walk and without checking the weather, even though you're standing outside IN the weather — go to the restaurant. Order a bottle of wine and get dessert. Now that you can no longer do a mobile Facebook update from the table, look your person in the eyes and say something nice for a change.

Song Picks: Kraftwerk, "Computer Love." Roberta Flack, "First Time Ever I Saw Your Face."

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Carrie's NPR bosses have asked us to ask you to click through to her blog to read the rest of this post. Especially if:

• You: Are Single with Dog (SWD), a Status That Transcends Sexuality.
• You: Are Dating Your Doppelganger a.k.a doppelBANGer

Carrie Brownstein is a writer and musician. She was a member of the critically acclaimed rock band Sleater-Kinney. Her writing has appeared in the New York Times, The Believer, Pitchfork, and various book anthologies on music and culture. Her blog, Monitor Mix, deserves a place in your RSS reader.