The Times is a publicly traded company, but the heirs of its modern founder Adolph Ochs and his son-in-law, Arthur Hays Sulzberger, own the voting shares. And in an effort to inculcate all the far-flung cousins—there are 27 fifth-generation descendants of Sulzberger—with a sense of responsibility for the newspaper and its various holdings, the New York Times Company likes to rotate them through the place from time to time.

The company's latest proxy statement, released earlier this week, brought news of yet two more Sulzberger cousins signing up for duty at the mother ship—in this job market, no less! And one of them was particularly momentous: Thirty-three-year-old David Perpich, nephew to Times publisher Arthur "Pinch" Sulzberger Jr., who is himself son to his predecessor Arthur "Punch" Sulzberger, who was himself son to his predecessor Arthur Hays Sulzberger, has been hired as the executive director of paid products at NYTimes.com just as the site prepares to wring desperately needed money out of its 17 million monthly users by limiting the number of stories they can read without subscribing. So here's a handy guide to what Perpich—as well as his various kinsman and -women spread throughout the New York Times Company—brings to the table.

David Perpich, 33, fifth generation
Perpich's claim to fame is his role in helping run the Scratch DJ Academy, a rigorous institution of higher learning co-founded by Jam Master Jay that offers an "incredible opportunity for amateur and aspiring music enthusiasts to learn how to DJ, from mixing and blending, to scratching and beat juggling." Among Perpich's duties at the Academy was "handling all marketing initiatives," and he was really good at it: He managed to get the school mentioned a whopping nine times in the paper his family owns! After leaving academia around 2007, according to this excellent 2008 New York rundown of the Sulzberger clan, Perpich briefly entertained an offer to join the family business, but he turned it down in favor of a technology consulting gig at Booz Allen. For whatever reason, that didn't work out, so he figured he'd head over to his uncle's shop and shepherd the most crucial business initiative that the Times has ever undertaken. He's up for it, though: He's a digital wizard who's thoroughly mastered Twitter, having limited his posts to one heartbreaking online memorial for Michael Jackson made all the more moving by its singularity:


Samuel Dolnick, 30, fifth generation
Also reported in the most recent proxy statement was the hiring of Samuel Dolnick, the grandson of Arthur Sulzberger's sister Ruth Holmberg (who herself served as the publisher of the Chattanooga Times). Dolnick, who previously toiled as a reporter for the Associated Press, was hired at the Newspaper Guild Minimum staff reporter's salary of $90,500 in September, and has been writing for the Metro desk. According to the New York Observer, Dolnick is no dilettante: His AP gig took him to New Delhi, and before that, he interned at the Village Voice under the estimable Wayne Barrett. He's settled down in New York for the new gig, having just purchased a home in Brooklyn with a $300,000 mortgage at the discount-window interest rate of .57% from his grandmother, according to New York real estate records.


A. G. Sulzberger, 30, fifth generation
Arthur G. Sulzberger, Pinch's son, joined the paper last March, also at the Guild minimum salary, and since then he's been cold huntin' snipers, writing about bus stops and light bulbs for the Metro desk, and fending off obscene propositions from Gawker readers. Before that he wrote for the Portland Oregonian.


Rachel B. Golden, 31, fifth generation
Rachel is the daughter of Michael Golden, Holmberg's son and vice chairman of the Times Company. She makes a cool $82,136 as a marketing associate for the Times web site, where she's responsible for promoting the Style, T, and Travel sections.


James Dryfoos, 45, fifth generation
Dryfoos, the grandson of Arthur Sulzberger's sister Marian, is a systems analyst for the Times Company, where he analyzes systems for $144,673 a year. He married a lady named Reagan Rexrode and is a homebrew enthusiast.


Michael Greenspon, 40, fifth generation
Also a grandson of Marian's, Greenspon is, according to New York, "quietly competent but not an obvious candidate to lead the paper." He's a project manager in strategic planning and served last year as the interem general manager of the New York Times News Service, which laid of some 25 to 30 people in November. He makes $176,961 a year.


Michael Golden, 61, fourth generation
Golden, father to Rachel and son of Ruth, is Arthur Sulzberger Jr.'s chief rival in the family. He's currently vice chairman after a stint in Paris as the publisher of the International Herald Tribune, which the Times Company wrestled away from the Washington Post Company in 2002. Golden shepherded the company's move from its old Times Square headquarters to a bright shiny new $500 million building, which worked out like this: The old building was flipped at a $350 million profit three years after the Times sold it, and the Times started selling off pieces of the new building for cash two years after it was built. For this he made $1.8 million last year.


Arthur O. Sulzberger, Jr., 59
Arthur is the publisher of the New York Times. He makes $5.1 million, and is primarily occupied with ensuring that none of the aforementioned fifth-generation Sulzbergers have jobs in five years.

SPECIAL BONUS HIDDEN SULZBERGER: New York's look at the Sulzberger clan noted that a "spokesperson for the Times said there are two additional fifth-generation descendents, but they have never appeared as beneficiaries in the company's SEC filings." We've found one of them: In addition to providing a mortgage to Dolnick, Holmberg is also listed in New York real estate records as having made a $265,000 loan to a Sharon Skettini of Brooklyn. And according to public databases, Skettini once shared an address in Arizona with Ruth's son Stephen Golden, a lawyer in Tucson. Skettini appears to have once been employed as a literary agent for Sterling Lord Literistic, a New York agency, but she's not currently listed on the firm's site. She doesn't appear to have any public relationship with the Times.

Crash course for the Tinsley illiterate: She is a daffy 34-year-old socialite who's huge in Japan (seriously, she is) and used to be married to a guy named Topper. She's that WASPy! She finished taping an upcoming reality show on the CW last month that's all about being a social and she just broke up with Constantine Maroulis from American Idol. So who can such a treasure date? We have five ideas, including some young ones, because couuuugars are all the rage these days. (It's 2007, right?)

Peter "PC" Peterson
You remember PC. He's the young maybe-gay buck from NYC Prep, another reality show about New York butterflies. Sure he's like really young — 19 or 20, tops (bottoms?) — but who cares! The confused young lad could use a sherpa to take him by the ears and teach him the ways of the parlor and the boudoir. And Tinsley would look so hip and so young and so now. Plus, you know, reality TV synergy. We know the boy isn't afraid to sign a release.
The Perfect Date: Dinner at DBGB downtown, drinks at The Box, to feel uncomfortable and vaguely sexy together.

Ronan Farrow
Ronan is the improbably dreamboatish son of Mia Farrow and Woody Allen, so he's Upper West Side royalty, basically. Plus he's like a genius. Kid's only about 22 and he's already graduated from Yale Law and is a vocal activist for peace and equality and all those good things. A younger man, sure, but an intelligent and driven one. Plus, so blonde! Imagine the perfect Aryan babies they'd have. It'd be enough to make a Nazi weep.
The Perfect Date: Because they come from warring sides of the park, they'd meet, diplomatically like Ronan would want it, in the middle. So we're thinking a picnic in the park (soft French cheeses, fresh bread, big green grapes, a fizzy Vinho Verde) followed by a show under the stars at the Delacorte. Farrow could explain the activist thought behind a Brecht show, and Tinsley could nod solemnly and look at the birdies.

Justin Rocket Silverman
Everyone needs a nice guy from time to time. Rocket is the square-jawed New York Post reporter who is emminently effable, despite reports to the contrary. The obvious media connections (Silverman writes a lot of New Yorky feature stories) could prove a boon to Tinsley, plus it'd be nice for her to date someone her own age. They'd be the toast of town. She the twittering social starlet, he the lighthearted social journo. He'd do the Sunday crossword, she'd read Styles, and then they'd go walk their dogs.
The Perfect Date: Something low-key and maybe kind of smart. A pensive stroll around the East Village, followed by pierogies at Veselka and then a nightcap at Death & Co. (ask for Alex). Maybe a romantic kiss in a cab rumbling uptown.

The Sulzbergers
Forget the Post! If you want real New York old media clout, you gotta go after the Times. And who better to sink your hooks into than the publisher himself? Arthur Sulzberger has been single for a bit now, and he's the kind of older, more experienced fellow who could introduce the Tinz to real respectable types. But wait! There's also Sulzberger's hottie boombalottie son A.G., a cub reporter who does quirky metro stories and gets everyone's delicates in a deluge. Compared to dad, he's cute and young and trendy. Who to pick? Both! Just don't tell them.
The Perfect Date: With Dad, it'd have to be somewhere midtown and media-y. Let's say Monkey Bar for dinner and drinks. With Junior, a frenzy of greasy small plates and slurped Riesling at The Spotted Pig and then a light round of fucking in the bathroom at Lure, after A.G. had to stop by to say hi to some of his dad's amused friends.

John Edwards
Politicians are all the rage these days! Especially John Edwards. Now that he's single, Tinsley could swoop in and stake her claim where so many claims have been staked before. Despite his many indiscretions, Edwards might still have the political capital to get Tinsley swinging in the DC scene, which is where everyone wants to be these days. Or at least they wanted to be, like a year ago. Now, not so much. Maybe this isn't the best idea.
The Perfect Date: Dinner at home, TV at home, grunty groping at home. Edwards doesn't really want to risk being photographed on a date right now.